Dear Kim Kardashian,
You’re supposed to be happy. You say you’re happy. But you look miserable. I want to help you. And the only way I can help you is to tell you.
This whole pregnancy dressing thing…you’re doing it wrong.
You fired back at your critics this week saying, “I’m not fat. I’m pregnant.” We know, honey. The real question is…do you?
Tight dresses, tailored suits, stiletto heels. You say you’re excited about your pregnancy, but you’re dressing like you’re in denial. I feel challenged in four inch heels…and I’m not carrying another human inside of me.
Relax. Put on something soft, something that gives, and maybe breathes a little. You’ll feel better and so will we. I’m uncomfortable just looking at you right now. And if you want some height, platforms or wedges are your friends. At least for now.
We don’t care what your body looks like. We’d just rather not see it, or see so much of it. Hell, pull a Jessica Simpson and put on 100 pounds. But loosen up. Be happy. And don’t take yourself so seriously. Life is not a fashion show.
When you’re more comfortable, we’ll be more comfortable. And pretty soon, you’ll be just another pregnant lady. Or, is that what you’re afraid of?
And one more thing, whatever you do…do not name that child North. North West.
That’s just krazy.