How to get your girl to love the game. Or at least like it.

Photo: Pigskin ‘N Pearls

She’s the one. She’s everything you ever wanted. Even your mom likes her. There’s just one problem: she doesn’t like football. If you’re like me (and if you’re reading this, you are)…that is a big problem. Because football for us isn’t so much a sport, but a way of life.

Well, fear not. You shouldn’t have to choose between the woman you love and the sport you’re obsessed with. That would be so unfortunate for her. Instead, let’s see if we can make them get along.

Here’s what you need to know if you want your girl (to want) to watch football:

1) Make it about the people. Even if she doesn’t understand the game yet (or doesn’t care to), surely she can appreciate the story of two brothers whose teams are battling each other in the Super Bowl. Or the young quarterback starting in just his tenth NFL game. Or the poor guy he replaced on the sideline. And then there’s Ray Lewis. Maybe you don’t go there…

2) We love gossip. Who’s married to who? Who used to be with who? Any pop culture or celebrity references will instantly get her attention. Hmmm…this would be so much easier if it was anyone BUT the 49ers and Ravens playing. But, you could always show her Joe Flacco’s wedding pictures. They’re amazing!

3) Truth: Women can’t get excited about anything until they know what they’re wearing. Get her a cute blinged out top with her team (or your team) logo and let her start accessorizing. We love All Sport Couture. And Meesh & Mia just came out with a fabulous Super Bowl line. Honest…we’ll look forward to a funeral if we’re excited enough about our outfit.

4) Make a day of it. The game is three hours long. Surround it with stuff she likes to do…and she’ll be more likely to start liking game day. Go to a mimosa or bloody mary brunch before. Go to a nice dinner after. Do both!

5) Make it social. Watch the game with some of your favorite couples. Preferably, couples with other women who like football. Their passion will rub off on her. They’ll talk about the players and their tight ends. They’ll make sure they include her. They’ll make fun of her. And before long, she’ll cave. To fit in.

6) Get her some training. Most NFL teams hold a Football 101 course for women. They bring players in, go over the rules, line up on the practice field, try some plays. Nothing will help her appreciate the game like understanding the game. And in the process, she may teach you a thing or two.

7) Now you’re getting desperate. If nothing has worked so far…bribery will. You may have to trade your football Sunday for Saturday night at the symphony, or the ballet, or karaoke. I know.

8) There’s this great football blog that mixes game day with pop culture, witty humor, and a little bit of girly bling. It’s called Pigskin ‘N Pearls. Ya. You know it. You read it. And I love you for it. Introduce me to her. We’ll bond.

9) We can be bought. Obviously. If you’re just learning this now, I feel bad for you. But, your life is about to get much easier. I did not say cheaper.

10) And if she still refuses to watch football…why are you together again? She must make up for it in other ways. I won’t judge. I know Jim Harbaugh can’t keep you warm at night.

And one last thing…you’re not going to convince her overnight. So, above all else…be patient. God knows she’s had to be with you.

Now, would you please pick up your socks? And put down the toilet seat.