Oh, T.O.

I just finished watching Terrell Owens and his baby mama drama (all four of them, yes…4) unfold on The Dr. Phil Show.  Below is my response to Mr. Owens.  But first…does anyone have Tony Dungy on speed dial?

Dear T.O.,

Let me start by saying that you have already done what few men will ever do.  And I’m not talking about playing in the NFL.  That is an impressive feat, but pales in comparison to sitting on stage in front of a national audience with three of the four women you have children with (none of which you are currently dating).  You certainly have courage.  And potency.

Here are a few items for you to consider:

1.  Let’s start with a question.  Who told you this show was a good idea?  Seriously.  Because…it’s not.  Really, really, really not.  I think you’re operating under the assumption that any publicity is good publicity.  That is also false.  You should really look into replacing your people.  But then again, I thought that after your last accidental suicide attempt.

2.  There is something called birth control, use it.  Enough said.  If you have any questions about this, contact your sixth grade health teacher.

3.  Thus far, you’ve been known for your NFL records and off the field drama.  Maybe it’s time for you to come up with a new persona.  Your NFL career is likely over and even if it’s not it will be soon.  Make no mistake, we will always love you for your on field heroics.  But records are eventually broken and fame is fleeting.  Become a hero off the field, (see Peyton Manning, Kurt Warner, Drew Brees) especially with kids, (and starting with your own) and we’ll love you more and forever.  And in the process, you just may learn to love yourself.  And that’s something no one can ever take away from you, no matter how much child support you have to pay.

Good luck!




  1. Jenny Chapman says:

    LOL…I watched that too. He needs new PR quickly! I loved how he was playing the victim, like he had no idea why these women are being so mean to him…

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