Jerry Jones and Chris Christie make strange bedfellows

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones have a budding bromance

There was Carrie Underwood. And Jessica Simpson. And now, there’s…Chris Christie?!

Meet the new muse of the Dallas Cowboys.

The New Jersey governor is the latest public figure to be spotted regularly in the suite of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. Last Sunday, when the Cowboys played the Detroit Lions in the wild card round of the NFL playoffs, Christie was photographed on the sideline, in Jones’ suite (in an awkward celebratory manhug), and going into the locker room afterwards.

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Which is all fine and good…if he wants to run for office in Texas.

The problem is, Christie represents a state with its own NFL team (even if no one wants to claim it), the New York Jets. And New Jersey is home to MetLife Stadium, which is shared by both the Jets and the New York Giants (a huge divisional rival of the Cowboys). I know, both teams say they’re from New York, but the Jets are actually based in New Jersey.

Christie’s brother Todd, who came to his defense on Facebook this week, says Chris is a lifelong fan of the Cowboys. Christie can be a fan of any team he wants. But showing up week after week in the owner’s suite is a bad look, even if it’s perfectly legal. It wreaks of big money power and influence. And it’s raised some ethical questions about a contract Christie pushed for a company part owned by Jones. Not to mention, Christie is reportedly preparing for the 2016 presidential election. You can bet those pictures in Jones’ suite will turn into campaign ads.

I can already hear them:

(Deep, dark male voice): “Chris Christie spent more time watching the Dallas Cowboys than watching government spending.”

(Concerned female voice): “Chris Christie cares more about football than children.” *A few of us (not naming names) may be guilty of that one.

Unlike Underwood and Simpson (both of whom were shunned when quarterback Tony Romo broke up with them), Christie may have some staying power with the Cowboys, seeing as the team is winning. Jerry Jones has said Christie is part of the team’s mojo. And he fully expects him to be at this week’s big divisional game against the Packers in Green Bay. God knows the Cowboys will need all of their mojo to beat Aaron Rodgers.

While it isn’t apparent at first, Chris Christie and Jessica Simpson actually have some similarities. They’re both Republicans. They’ve both endured public scrutiny over their weight and their attendance at Cowboys games. They both wear orange well. But only one of them has ever looked good in Daisy Duke shorts.

Are you happy, Governor? You’ve become a caricature.

Maybe you and Jerry are soulmates after all.

XO

It’s weird in Jerry World

Cowboys Owner/President/General Manager Jerry Jones (Photo: USA Today)

Cowboys Owner/President/General Manager Jerry Jones
(Photo: USA Today)

Remember when you were little? And you could be anything you wanted to be? Then you grew up. And you realized what a super hero gets paid.

Well, that never happens to some people.

Take, Jerry Jones for example. Jerry Jones is the owner, president, and general manager of the Dallas Cowboys. He works at Cowboy Stadium, otherwise known as Jerry World. And when he’s not working (and sometimes when he is), he likes to pretend.

When Jerry Jones bought the Dallas Cowboys in 1989, he fired the longtime general manager, Tex Schramm, and took over complete control of football operations. To this day, Jones remains the NFL owner most involved in the day-to-day operations of his team.

And that’s all fine and good. Until Jerry World collides with the real world.

For example, one of Jerry’s favorite games is to pretend he is part of the team. He is often seen on the field and makes appearances in the locker room after games. In Jerry World, the team wants him there. In the real world…they locked him out once (that we know of).

This offseason, Jerry invented a new game. In this one, paying players what other players make, magically turns them into that player. So, Jerry Jones signed Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo to a six-year $108 million dollar contract extension. In real life.

Jones reportedly told Romo that now that he is making “Peyton Manning money,” he expects him to put in Peyton Manning-type time on the job. Apparently, he would rather have Romo studying tape than playing golf. Fair enough.

Romo recently had surgery to remove a cyst in his back, and will miss most of the team’s offseason training activities. But he’ll have plenty of time to watch tape. Which just goes to show you, be careful what you wish for. In Jerry World and the real world.

Peyton Manning is Peyton Manning. Tony Romo is Tony Romo. It was reported this week that Peyton Manning shot a 77 at Augusta National. Apparently, Peyton Manning time does include golf.

Here’s a thought. Maybe Jerry Jones should start putting in Robert Kraft-type time…and pay someone else to do it.

Pretend is great. But real is better.

For now, Jerry Jones is happy in Jerry World.

Who wouldn’t be?

XO

Coffee Cup Quarterback | Week 9: Decisions…decisions…

Happy Election Day, America!  Make sure you vote today.  Or…don’t complain about the result.

I’m sure the exit polls are already coming in.  A winner cannot be predicted in the NFL season thus far…but we’re starting to be able to project the losers.

Week nine kicked off on Thursday night with a must win game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Diego Chargers.  The Chiefs came out on the losing end of that battle 13-31, which puts them at 1-7.  I’ll just let Twitter take it from there…


Sunday night…another primetime game, another must win game.  But this time, only for one team…the Dallas Cowboys.  Tony Romo’s first pass to the end zone was a throw I could have made.  But he missed it, badly.  Amazingly, it wasn’t intercepted.  Romo leads the league with 13 interceptions this season, yet he had none against the Atlanta Falcons.  Still, the Cowboys fell 13-19.  And that makes the Falcons 8-0 and the Cowboys 3-5.

Which raises some questions…what does the future look like for the Dallas Cowboys?  For Head Coach Jason Garrett?  For Tony Romo?  And you think you have decisions to make today?  How would you like to be Cowboys Owner and General Manager Jerry Jones?  Who was, by the way…locked out of the locker room after the game.  The locker room he built and he owns.


Things are getting a little bizarro in Jerryville.  Just goes to show…you can buy a team, you can buy a stadium, you can even buy an election…but you can’t buy respect.

At least he stuck around for the end of the game.  Tennessee Titans Owner Bud Adams was reportedly so disgusted with his team’s performance against the Chicago Bears on Sunday, that he left during the third quarter and flew home.  The Titans lost to the Bears 20-51.

“In my 50 years of owning an NFL franchise, I am at a loss to recall a regular-season home game that was such a disappointment for myself and fans of the Titans.”

-Tennessee Titans Owner Bud Adams to The Tennessean

And that brings us to the Monday Night Football game of Election Eve.  And, you guessed it…a must win game between the struggling Philadelphia Eagles and the New Orleans Saints.  You know a game is boring when Michael Vick’s brother’s tweets are a highlight.


The other highlight…the halftime interviews with the presidential candidates.  For anyone…who after all the ads, debates, phone calls, and mailings…hasn’t yet made up their mind.  What I really wish Chris Berman would have asked is, “Mr. President, how would you fix the Eagles?”  They lost to the Saints 13-28.  Along with the economy, healthcare, and social security, the Philadelphia Eagles may be a problem that will take longer than four years to fix.

Whatever your team, whoever your candidate…last night and today are what America is all about.  In the end, politics may divide us, but football unites us.

So choose wisely, America. Your future depends on it.

And that goes double for the Chiefs.

XO

And a happy Election Day birthday to my sister, Jennifer!  Congratulations are also in order…as she reclaimed her spot atop the Pigskin ‘N Pearls fantasy league with her team, Don’t Play Like Shiht Zus.  She may shiht when she sees who’s right behind her though…with Doug Martin.

Victoria’s Secret: Women. Love. Football. Pass It On…

As long as I’m on the pink bandwagon…

Victoria has a secret…women love football.  Almost as much as men do.  Women account for an estimated 44% of the NFL fan base.  But no one has to whisper that in Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones’ ear.  He already knows…and he’s capitalizing on it.

Victoria’s Secret opened a new Pink store Monday in Arlington, Texas.  While that in and of itself is not remarkable, the fact that it’s in Cowboy Stadium is.  Yes, The Palace in Dallas is already home to the second most valuable sports franchise and the second largest television screen…in the world.  And it now houses the only Pink stadium store…in the world.

Victoria’s Secret Pink partnered with the NFL and its 32 teams to sell licensed female fan apparel in 2011.  The line has been a huge hit with football loving females who want to represent their team in a stylish and feminine way.

A ribbon cutting (complete with Victoria’s Secret models) was held before the Cowboys hosted the Chicago Bears on Monday Night Football this week.  It may have been the only thing Cowboys fans had to celebrate that night.  Quarterback Tony Romo threw five interceptions and the Cowboys were pummeled by the Bears 34-18.  But there were no reports of female fans rushing to return their Cowboys apparel.  They’re in it for the long haul, win or lose.

We don’t know whether Victoria’s Secret plans include other NFL stadiums, but we certainly hope so.  Because there’s only one thing we love more than football…our football team.  Whatever you think about the Cowboys, you have to admit…Jerry Jones is one good business man.  The guy gets it.

And that’s no secret.

XO

Dez Bryant is Grounded

Dallas Cowboys Wide Receiver Dez Bryant is grounded.  Indefinitely.  He is not allowed to drink alcohol or visit strip clubs.  He has a midnight curfew.  He has agreed to attend two counseling sessions per week and has a rotating three man security detail that is always present, transporting him to approved activities and keeping him from restricted ones.  This, according to ESPNDallas.com.

The restrictions are the result of a history of trouble for Desmond Demond Bryant, age 23, the latest of which was a July 16th alleged assault on his 37-year-old mother, Angela.  Yes, do the math…she was very young when she had him and has a history of trouble herself.  When Dez was eight years old, she served eighteen months in prison for dealing crack.  No, not a storybook childhood.  Angela Bryant did not press charges against her son.  The district attorney’s office in Dallas is still reviewing the case.

The so-called “Dez Rules” reportedly came about when Bryant himself reached out for help.  He put together a group of advisors, including two ministers and his attorney, a Texas state senator.  Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones, says he supports the player and his new guidelines, which at first he appeared to confirm by stating they were not the strictest rules placed on a player, but he now refuses to acknowledge.

“I’m not going to discuss any of the rules, because that implies that there are a certain set of rules. I don’t know that that’s correct, either.”

 Whatever, Jerry.

As the team’s top draft pick in 2010 (24th overall), Bryant is clearly a big investment for the Cowboys.  He is a talented player with a bright future…if he can keep himself out of trouble.  With a curfew, no drinking, and no strip clubs, that shouldn’t be too difficult.  Especially with his personal security team (who Bryant is paying out of his personal pocket).

At some point, the “Dez Rules” will either be lifted…when Bryant proves he can police himself, or become permanent…when he gets married.  We won’t talk about the third option…and neither will Jerry.

XO