Letter from the Baltimore Ravens to the Orioles

Dear Baltimore Orioles,

We don’t know if you noticed, but a few months ago your city’s football team went to New Orleans to play the San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl XLVII. And you know what? They won! And that’s kind of a big deal. You remember what that was like…back when you last won a world championship. In 1983.

Well, one of the honors the NFL grants the Super Bowl winning team is a home opener to kick off the NFL season with a tailgating party for fans. The NFL is having problems scheduling this event on September 5th, because the Orioles have a game at the same time which utilizes some of the same facilities.

One solution was to ask the Orioles to move their game up to accommodate the NFL World Champions and their fans. By the way, these are the same fans who packed the stadium all season, rallied around the team and the players, and stood outside in freezing temperatures for hours to welcome them home with the Lombardi Trophy.

We know you will work with the NFL, the Ravens, and the City of Baltimore to make this celebration possible for the team and the fans. Because, we would venture to guess…some of the fans of the Baltimore Ravens also support the Baltimore Orioles.

Give the Ravens their day. Give the fans their day. They’ve earned it and they deserve it. Also, people like football better than baseball.

And retired or not…we wouldn’t want Ray Lewis on our bad side.

Just saying.

The Baltimore Ravens

XO

 

Lights out on Super Bowl XLVII and NFL season

Photo: @Rachel_Nichols

Photo: @Rachel_Nichols

The Baltimore Ravens’ victory over the San Francisco 49ers in New Orleans on Sunday was both an end and a beginning. It was the end of a long season, a long road, and a long career.

Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis retires a two-time world champion and vows to spend his time sacrificing for his children the way they have sacrificed for him during his career. He also vowed to hoist the Lombardi trophy and ascend directly into heaven. I’m not going to hold him responsible for not delivering on that one though. For all we know, there was some kind of electrical malfunction with the Superdome roof.

Super Bowl XLVII also marks the end of the questions surrounding Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco and whether he is an “elite” quarterback. Flacco is elite. How do I know that? Because #EliteAsFu** is trending on twitter. And because the Super Bowl MVP is about to be paid as an elite quarterback.

“Steve Bisciotti (Ravens owner) told me that if this happens, that I can go pound on the desk and really stick it to him. And that’s what I’m going to do.”

-Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco

Bad Flacco just walked off into the sunset. Never to be heard from again. Wearing Ray Lewis’ white suit.

Sunday also marked some beginnings. The beginning of what is sure to be a long and exciting career for 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick. And for all the talk of his mistakes on Sunday, let us not forget…the Super Bowl was this kid’s tenth NFL start. He could pee his pants in the huddle and I wouldn’t look down on him. He gave his team a chance in the second half of the game, just like he did the second half of the season…and just like he will continue to do for a long, long time. We hope.

It could also be the beginning of some awkward family dinners for the Harbaughs. Do you think that maybe (after a few drinks) that no-call in end zone will come up at Easter dinner? And Jim Harbaugh is sure to throw a tantrum. And color all over John’s eggs with his red sharpie.

And perhaps, the beginning of the end of New Orleans hosting Super Bowls (at least for a while). I think they can pretty much rip up that 2018 Super Bowl bid. And I wonder if Mercedes-Benz will renew their naming rights for the stadium. They already have reliability issues with electricity in their vehicles.

But the 49ers should be grateful, because the lights going out was the only thing that got them back in that game. I would also like to express my appreciation, because when the Superdome went dark…the Twitterverse lit up like a Christmas tree. Here are some of my favorites:

 

Yes, the end of Super Bowl XLVII is the beginning of a long offseason for football fans. Thanks, all…for hanging with me this season. I have loved every minute of it. You have made my first season as an official football blogger not only a success, but a new beginning for me as well. Where this will go…I have no idea. But I couldn’t do it without each and every one of you taking the time to read my musings. I thought I was just entertaining myself.

In the meantime, don’t be a stranger. It’s going to be an eventful offseason and I’m going to need someone to mock the ridiculous with.

Thanks also to my husband Michael, who has been very patient with the household chores I have neglected in the meantime. I promise to keep up on laundry…at least until August.

And so, the lights go down on the season. And the Superdome. Again.

Boom!

XO

Halloween special: The scariest players in the NFL

On this Halloween, I profile the scariest players in the NFL.  If you’re like me, you have nightmares about these players staring you down…not to mention your quarterback.

Jared Allen, Defensive End for the Minnesota Vikings

Yes, Jared Allen may be lovable…in a big, goofy dog kind of way.  But he’s also intimidating…in a growling Doberman kind of way.  You never really trust him, you never take your eyes off him, you never turn your back on him, and you never…ever piss him off.  Just ask Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Josh Freeman.

During last week’s Thursday Night Football game between the Vikings and the Buccaneers, Bucs Tackle Donald Penn kept blocking Allen after the play was over.  The two got physical and Penn knocked Allen’s helmet off, giving him a bloody nose.  Once the two were separated and back on the field for the next play, no one had to tell you what was going to happen next.

The whistle blew, the ball was snapped…and before he could say, “Trick or Treat,” Josh Freeman was on the ground with a bloodied Allen starting him in the face.  Just like a scene from a horror movie.

Fan’s best friend…but only if he’s on your team.

Troy Polamalu, Safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers

Don’t let the Head & Shoulders commercials fool you.  Troy Polamalu may be sitting at a piano, long hair flowing…but as elegant as he looks, he’s a fierce fighter on the field.  Over ten seasons in the NFL, Polamalu has racked up 614 tackles, 9 quarterback sacks, and 29 interceptions.  He also has two Super Bowl rings and seven Pro Bowl appearances to show for it.  Superhuman strength and speed?  Maybe he does moonlight as a vampire.

The hair is fair game on the field.  If you think it holds him back, though…think again.  But Head & Shoulders did insure Polamalu’s locks through Lloyds of London (for one million dollars), just in case.

If any player has the nerve to mess with Polamalu’s mop…it will grow right back anyway.  At least, it would in Twilight.

Ray Lewis, Linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens

Ray Lewis is not only the best linebacker on the Ravens defense, he is arguably the best linebacker in the NFL…and quite possibly the best to play that position.  Ever.

The Ravens are missing Lewis, who was ruled out for the season with a torn triceps muscle in week six.  And they may be missing him for much longer.  Reports say the 17-year NFL veteran who is not so quiet along the sideline, is quietly contemplating retirement.

In his storied career, Lewis has racked up more records than any trophy case could hold, including a Super Bowl, Super Bowl MVP, a record 13 Pro Bowl appearances, more than 2,000 tackles, 41 sacks, and 31 interceptions.

Coupled with his keen sense of leadership and that intense look, this is not a guy you want anywhere near your quarterback.  Not even on the sideline.

And then, there was that murder investigation…but I won’t go into that.

If Ray Lewis retires from football, he will be remembered only for his game killing plays, his violent attacks on quarterbacks, and his ability to stop runners dead in their tracks.

Aside from all that, he’s also one of the most loved and respected players of all time and is known for having a huge heart.  In 2010, Lewis had a street named after him in honor of his work in the Baltimore community.

I don’t care.  I still don’t want to run into him in a dark alley.  Even if it is Ray Lewis Way.  But don’t tell him I said that.  Ok?

Happy Halloween!

XO

Dancing with the NFL Stars

Donald Driver finds himself in good company today.  He joins Dallas Cowboys Running Back Emmitt Smith and Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver Hines Ward as NFL players who took home both the Lombardi Trophy and the mirror ball trophy.  “It took me 13 years to win the Super Bowl,” the 37 year old receiver for the Green Bay Packers said.  “I’m just glad it took me one season to win the mirrorball.”

And he won it out on the floor just like he does on the field, quietly and persistently.  There’s a lot to love about Donald Driver.  His life choices, his no drama, hard work attitude.  And he did it during what has been hailed the most competitive season ever on the popular dance reality show.

Now that Season 14 is over, who would we like to next represent the NFL on Dancing with the Stars?

Here is our Top 10 List:

10.  Rex Ryan (New York Jets Head Coach)

Pros: A chance to show off and add to his recent 90 pound weight loss.  Good recreational activity for him to share with his wife, who will certainly need some foot massages after all that dancing.

Cons: Ryan would likely crown himself the winner of the competition prior to the start of it, putting undo pressure on himself and his partner to live up to his bold prediction.

9.  Jay Cutler (Chicago Bears Quarterback)

Pros: Cutler’s fiancee and soon-to-be baby mama, Kristin Cavallari was a contestant on the show a few seasons ago.  Although she was cast off too early, she could give him some pointers.

Cons: Cutler is known for being “soft.”  A perceived fake knee injury during the finals could do him in for good.

8.  Ray Lewis (Baltimore Ravens Linebacker)

Pros: Known as one of the most intense, competitive players in the NFL.  That would surely translate to the ballroom.

Cons: It would be just too damn scary.

7.  Larry Fitzgerald (Arizona Cardinals Wide Receiver)

Pros: Another one of the good guys of the NFL, his work ethic and professionalism would make him an immediate contender on any season of DWTS.

Cons: A lot of potential mishaps with all that hair…jewelry, sequins, etc.  A wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

6.  Brett Favre (Retired Green Bay Packers/Jets/Vikings Quarterback)

Pros: Maybe this is a stretch, but his competitive spirit could carry him.  If he can dance his way back into the hearts of America, maybe the Packers will consider retiring his jersey earlier rather than later.

Cons: No telling how Brett will behave himself amongst all those scantily clad women.

5.  Victor Cruz (New York Giants Wide Receiver)

Pros: The boy can dance!  Cruz’s trademark touchdown salsa dance has already earned him a DWTS offer, which he reportedly turned down.

Cons: Giants Head Coach Tom Coughlin is known for his no nonsense style.  May not look fondly on the attention or missed training for purposes of entertainment.

4.  Terrell Owens (Retired Eagles/Cowboys/Bengals Wide Receiver)

Pros: He may not be signed with a team, but this guy is still in playing shape.  Why do I feel like we’ve seen this show before?  Maybe because Chad Ochocinco’s season was like T.O. Light.  Trust me, the drama would be bigger, better, and juicier with Owens.

Cons: The drama.

3.  Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys Quarterback)

Pros: Romo is not afraid to make a fashion statement.  Put him in a newsboy hat, a fedora, seersucker, leather…it’s all good.  Well, maybe not the leather, but he’s still a costume designer’s dream.

Cons: The mirrorball trophy will never replace the Lombardi Trophy in the hearts of Cowboys fans.  If he doesn’t win the Superbowl the following season, Romo’s DWTS appearance will look like just another distraction.

2.  Reggie Bush (Miami Dolphins Running Back)

Pros: Where do I start?  That face looks like it was carved out of milk chocolate.  And his smile?  He would have Bruno and Carrie Ann at hello.  And the obligatory shirtless dance?  We’ll give him a 10 right now!

Cons: The admittedly shy star is known to shun the spotlight and even broke up with Kim Kardashian because he couldn’t handle the media circus that accompanied her.  However, the attention could benefit the many causes he supports, including Make A Wish and the NFL’s Play 60.  Come on Reggie, do it for us.  And by us, I mean the kids.  Of course.

1.  Tim Tebow (New York Jets Quarterback)

Pros: A lamb with a lion’s heart.  And he knows how to win on the field, in life, and certainly would win on the dance floor.  Whether he starts this season for the Jets or not, Tim Tebow has already won America’s heart.

Cons: Please.

XO