Brady post breakup: Mad, sad, and really, really tan

Tom Brady and Wes Welker 2012  (Photo: Stephen J Cohen/WireImage)

Tom Brady and Wes Welker 2012
(Photo: Stephen J Cohen)

Somewhere, on a deserted tropical island, with the sun on his face, the breeze in his hair, and a fruity drink in his hand, Tom Brady…is fuming. While his wife and kids frolic and play, he is moping around like he just lost his best friend. Because, well…he did.

After making his own contribution to the team by extending his contract (to free up salary cap space), the New England Patriots returned the favor by failing to re-sign the star quarterback’s go-to guy, wide receiver Wes Welker.

To add insult to injury…for a measly two million dollars, Welker was swayed to sign with the Denver Broncos, where he will become the go-to guy for Brady’s archrival, Peyton Manning, who apparently played a major role in wooing Welker. Peyton also happens to be the big brother of Brady’s real nemesis…Eli Manning.

Yes, life for Tom Brady isn’t all champagne and roses, at least not this week. But don’t worry. After pouting, stomping his Uggs, and refusing to cut his hair, Brady will be just fine.

Why? Because Tom Brady is a professional, a competitor, and a team player. And he has demonstrated  as much on and off the field, most recently with his financial concession. I know, that’s not much of a sacrifice when your wife is the highest paid supermodel on the planet. But, it’s not just about money. It’s also about ego and pride, which Brady is also willing to put aside for the good of the team.

Also, I’m sure Gisele has already instructed staff to remove all photos of Wes Welker from their home (the ones that weren’t removed after Super Bowl XLVI anyway), along with anything with an eight or a three on it.

So…don’t worry about Tommy. After an extended vacation, he will board his private jet, return to his private castle, and eventually start to play with his new toy, Patriot wide receiver Danny Amendola (Welker 2.0), signed from the Rams during free agency.

And soon, Tom Brady will realize that hooking up with someone younger, faster, and better looking really is the best cure for a broken heart.


Disclosure: I have no idea where Tom Brady is. All I know is that he is “out of the country.” I assume he is on a tropical island because, well…why wouldn’t he be?


  1. david k. burnes says:

    what does it matter anyway? it’s just business, right!!! don’t worry about the fans who have supported the pats at the ticket gate, among other things. ah ya but we’re just a small part of the overall business plan. loyalty what’s that? apparently it counts for nothing in this stab in the back sociality of today.
    kraft and bellacheck screwed over one the greatest wr and you could not give him even the little respect that man ask for and he deserves. their is no honor amoung any of so called men! your pathetic and should be ashamed of showing your idiot faces in public and front off wes’s team mates. and even more importantly the fans who stood totally behind the organization in the best of time and most certainly the worst of times. and this is certainly the most worst of times.

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